Seriously?! Seriously.

How to be rich?

2007-05-04T09:08:00.000-07:00

How do you get rich when you're spending every penny you take in?

At what point do you start making more than you have to spend on living expenses?

If you're making enough money to finally buy that big house and fancy car, aren't you spending the money you're taking in? So are you really rich?

What is "rich"?

I'm jealous...people who have money have the things they want, they know money is real. It's real enough to buy them the things they want. Does money buy happiness? Of course not, you create happiness. Isn't happiness what life is all about? I think so. So really, is money necessary? No.

If happiness is your goal, then money isn't necessary. Hence, I guess money is not really "real." Does it help? Yes, in many superficial ways. But happiness is something you create, not how much money you earn.

For those people who don't have money, does it mean you live with nothing? No, it means you buy what you can. Maybe you can't buy the $550 Prada shoes, but you can take your son to Disneyland for his birthday. Is it a sacrifice? It might be if your definition of happiness is wearing $550 Prada shoes, but if those shoes are out of your reach why not enjoy the things that are within reach?

I'm idealistic in that I believe if you're happy with what you're doing you will be rich. Whether it's rich in money because you've pursued your passion successfuly, or rich in happiness because you've followed your heart.

More to come on this topic later...

Hey jealousy...

2007-03-16T10:04:00.000-07:00

I am in a romantic relationship that I value and treasure more than any other relationship I have ever had.

Some people come into your life and you wonder, where were you?

This is the case for me.

I found someone that feels like home, even when I don't know what home is. Someone who knows some secrets and my crazy family, and still loves me. Yet, for some reason he can't understand that I love him....and only him. I understand that past relationships dictate many things about present relationships, but when the past relationships seem to be nagging at your mate in such a way that you personally feel violated, then you have a problem.

I am a person who is huge on trust. I willl trust you from day 1, even without knowing anything about you, and that's just the way I am. I see the world through rose colored glasses. But if something makes me doubt that trust I'm going to talk to you about it...again, that's just the way I am. It's a simple method I have going really, I meet a new person and give them my all, and if they are reciprocating that then we have a great relationship...but if I feel like I might be betrayed I'll talk to you about it and we can clear the air, so that we can go back to living harmoniously. Communication.

When someone's method of finding out if you're betraying them is to first accuse you of things, and then rationalize why they're accusing you of those things, I have a problem with that. I am a defensive person, there are very few occasions when I will ever let someone confront me about anything and I won't defend myself. Not because I think I'm always right, but because I know I strive each and every day to live as a good human, to keep peace in my life so that others can come to me when they're having problems. So when I am berrated with accusations I get hurt. As defensive as I am, I crumble when I know someone is mad at me or doesn't trust me. I don't know why I am this way, maybe it's being the oldest child, I feel like I have to keep up this air of decency to be a good role model or something, who knows.

In any case, in my current relationship I trust my mate, I know he won't hurt me, and I know I will never betray him. How do you let a person know that if they haven't already caught on at this point? I feel like a broken record. I know I'm not perfect, no one is, but god dammit I try. When someone can't recognize and appreciate that I lose hope. I'm not good at knowing other people doubt me, who is really?

I already met a man that swept me off my feet and continues to surprise me every single day, and I value that with more of my heart than I can even put words to. I hope he knows that.

A Happy Song for a Happy Girl

2007-01-18T08:52:00.000-08:00

"Happy As the Sun" by Tyrone Wells

Whenever this world gets the best of me
And it all goes wrong
I Count down the hours till we meet
And I move along 'cause I know that when I see you
I will be

Happy as the sun, lighter than a feather
Walking on the clouds when we are together
Every day with you just keeps getting better
The world's as it should be, when are you here with me

Whenever you leave, my heart skips a beat
Unless you are here, I am incomplete
Like an undone song
Only you inspire the melody in me

Happy as the sun, lighter than a feather
Walking on the clouds when we are together
Every day with just keeps getting better
The world's as it should be, when are you here with me

How could I go wrong
When you are here with me
How could I be anything but smiling

Happy as the sun, lighter than a feather
Walking on the clouds when we are together
Every day with just keeps getting better
The world's as it should be, when are you here with me

The worlds as it should be
When you are here, when you are here
When you are here with me

It's Good for the Heart

2006-12-13T10:42:00.000-08:00

I volunteered last night for the first time in a few months, and it was a great experience. I'm involved with a group that gets together one night a week and walks the Venice Boardwalk in search of homeless and street kids that need our support and services. We saw many kids last night, which is both a bad thing and a great thing - it's bad because it means they are living on the streets, but it's a good thing because when we can meet them on the streets we at least have a chance to help them out.

Last week we received an email from the CEO and founder of our national organization and he congratulated us for our hard work and dedication to the kids. Attached to his email we found that what prompted his email was a thank you note sent by one of the kids that we have been helping on the streets. What more of a reward do you need to continue volunteering? It's a great feeling to realize that you and/or the organization you are associated with has had a positive impact on a struggling youth. The boy is now living off the streets and last night he came out just to walk with us. He is now talking about enrolling in a music school in L.A., and seems to have real goals that he is aiming to achieve. I couldn't be more proud of him, and I hope we can continue to do everything necessary to keep him on the right track.

The head and the heart

2006-12-01T08:45:00.000-08:00

How is it possible for someone to make you feel like such shit by not saying anything? I've never been the kind of person who needs to be validated by anyone, but when you get into certain relationships with certain people it's almost like you can't trust your instincts and you need their constant validation. You question everything about yourself and the relationship and the choices you've made to be put in the position you are. I heard a quote recently, "Never make someone your priority when you are only their convenience." I laughed, because who would be stupid enough to make someone who didn't reciprocate the same feelings their priority? It doesn't make sense until you're in the situation yourself. It's not that you're making them a priority on purpose, you just want so badly for the person to have the same feelings for you that you have for them, and in the process you don't realize that sometimes people don't. People don't share your feelings. People don't want to share your feelings. People cant share your feelings. So when do you say enough is enough? When do you decide that you want someone who shares your same feelings? Doing so would mean letting go of the relationship that causes you so much grief, so is it worth it? Is it worth the failure? Another relationship down the tubes? Or is it down the tubes? Maybe the ultimate reward for being proactive in ending this relationship will be finding another person who wants you even more than you want them, and you'll finally be validated. Will you be happy then knowing that you waited to be validated by another person, when all along you could have looked inside yourself for strength? Inner peace, inner happiness, inner strength - all of these things lead to self validation, a feeling that is supposedly so rewarding and enriching that all other things in your life will fall into place correctly.

Letting go of something is the hardest thing in the world, especially when you know that you should give it up because your head tells you to. The problem with your head talking is that your heart isn't always willing to listen. The heart is the master of "what if's" - what if he loves you and he just doesn't know how to show it? What if this is just the way he acts towards people he cares for? What if love isn't all emotional and flowery? The what if's are what make you stay even when your head tells you things aren't perfect. Your head counters every argument the heart makes - there is no "what if" to the head - if he loved you he would show it. If he treated you the way you deserve to be treated you wouldn't have to question his love. You will find someone who fits your definition of love, because someone else believes in rainbows and butterflies too. In my particular situation, I can't say if I'll give up or not. Do I like causing heartache for myself? Is it really destructive behavior if I am conscious of it? I continue because my heart holds out hope where my head says to run. Can't say how long my heart will hold on....and so the battle of the head and the heart rages on.

Commitment

2006-10-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday at church we had a guest speaker, and the topic he brought up for our studies was "commitment" - of course, he brought this up as a study of our commitment to the Lord, however, in typical Calvary form, he also used real-life applications. For instance, commitment to our business affairs and commitment to relationships. I laughed when I heard this last thing, because it's been the source of much contemplation the last few months. You see, I've been a single gal for about 5 years now, and as a single gal you get used to a certain lifestyle - open dating, fly-by-night plans, free drinks from eligible bachelors...in other words, no commitments. It wasn't until recently that I've come across anyone who was worth more than a passing glance. Now, the idea of commitment has come into play, and I don't quite know how to address it.

As yesterday's Pastor pointed out - the scary thing about commitment is that it brings with it certain obligations. If you commit to bringing a dish to a party, you have to cook it; if you commit to coming to work early, you have to wake up earlier; if you commit to babysitting on a Saturday night, you don't get to go out with your friends. These are every day commitments that, in general, I don't have a problem with. It's when you bring other people into the mix that I start to freak out. I have a hard time "commiting" to anyone, whether in the relationship sense or the friend sense. As I think of it, if I don't commit to anyone, then I can't let them down. This mindset has worked so far, but recently people have begun to question my mantra. A dichotomy arises, further confusing me - while I don't want people to expect things out of me (hence, my non-committal stance), I also don't want them to think they can't expect anything from me. I don't want to be the person that everyone holds unaccountable, because that's just sad. Yet, I don't want everyone to hold me accountable, because I'm bound to let some people down. Where's the middle ground?

I think I overanalyze everything....actually I know I overanalyze everything. I can't just let go and live, because when I come back down to Earth all of my worries will still be here. I try to live for each day, because as my mom says, " you might die tomorrow!" (thanks, mom!), but for some reason I just can't "let go" when it comes to matters of the heart. I've come to realize more and more that I'm afraid of people leaving. At first, this wasn't a big deal...you have a relationship, something might happen to make you see that it's not going to work out, and it ends. Okay, simple enough. But over the years, it's started to hurt more. I've started to think about the people that aren't in my life anymore, and how much it pains me that they're not there, and in compensating for the relict pain, I stop myself from acquiring any new relationships that could end in further pain. Is this healthy? Probably not, I've closed the door to good things, and instead I fill my nights with meaningless hook-ups and I keep my friends at arms length.

It's come to the point where it's easier to just joke about any commitment issues I might have then to deal with them. This is mostly because I don't know how to handle commitment. I don't know how to be that girl that's "in a relationship," the only "relationship" I've had up to this point was completely pursued by the other person. That doesn't mean I want to be the damsel in distress, waiting for my Prince Charming to come swoop me off my feet, but at the same time that would be fabulous. The scariest part of new relationships is wondering how the other person feels, so if they take all of the pressure off my completely putting themselves out there, it makes it that much easier on me. Of course, this is selfish, and not very mature, and if someone did throw himself at me I would probably stop returning his phone calls, because where's the fun in an obsessive man? There's no chase. I like the middle ground - the guy that keeps you on your toes, yet lets you know he cares. When I find that, I'll commit :)

Comfort in the Uncomfortable

2006-09-28T11:00:00.000-07:00

In lieu of a thoughtful blog, I am going to post a survey. It is a survey about relationship history and it was posted on myspace as the "Uncomfortable Survey." Quite frankly, I think the fact that it was labeled "Uncomfortable" is precisely why there are so many relationship problems in our damn society. Why is it uncomfortable to talk about your dating history? If people were more open about it I feel like others would respond by opening up themselves (i.e. COMMUNICATING)...and what could be better than two people who know eachother's past and present, and even knowing these things want to make this person a part of their future? Read on:

THE UNCOMFORTABLE SURVEY

How many boyfriends/girlfriends have told you that they love you? One

Have you ever thought that you were going to marry a person? No solid thoughts of marriage, but I've gotten to the point in my life where I kind of have to think about my future more when dating, and with that comes the question "could I BE with this person?"

Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt? Yes

Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry? Yes

Are you happier single or in a relationship? I'm happier single than in a bad relationship, but there's nothing better than sharing those special moments with that special someone when you're in a relationship.

Have you ever been cheated on? Yes, and I've cheated. With age comes the awareness that you're only hurting yourself by staying in a damaged and mistrustful relationship.

What is your favorite thing about the opposite sex? CHARISMA!

Have you ever had your heart broken? Minimally, at the time of any break up it hurts because you're losing someone who has been a part of your life for some amount of time...but in retrospect I've always trusted that things happen for a reason.

Have you ever broken someone's heart? Yes

Talk to any of your exes? Only one

If you could go back in time and change things with any of your exes what would it be? End things before I got in too deep knowing things weren't perfect

Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend? I try to be myself mostly, so that's all I can be...at some point it will be "good" for someone

Have you dated people who were not good for you? Yes, obviously those don't last long, but they're learning lessons

Have you been in an abusive relationship? Never, I wouldn't stand for anyone's shit - verbal or physical

Have you dated someone older then you? Significantly older

Younger? Significantly younger

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depends what the situation is, but in general, no...I can't get over some things. Forgive is different than forget. I might forgive you for something, but I'm not likely to forget it very quick

Believe in love at first sight? I think you get lucky if the original "lust" you have at first sight turns into love...but you can't possibly throw the term "love" around to describe first meeting a person, it doesn't do the feelings that come along with love any justice.

Ever dated two people at once? Yes, my thought is that unless you have an expressly committed relationship with someone, then you have the right to date other people. Simple as that.

Ever been given an engagement ring? Nope

Do you want to get married? Someday I would love to

Do you have something to say to any of your ex's? Eat your heart out ;) Just kidding, nothing really to say to any of them.

Ever stolen someone's boyfriend or girlfriend? Not so much stolen, but maybe borrowed for a little bit. I would never commit to a guy that cheated on his girlfriend for me. If he cheated on her, he'll likely cheat on me.

Ever liked someone's boyfriend or girlfriend? Of course, I think attraction comes naturally whether a person is committed to someone else or not...whether or not you or they act on that attraction is another story

Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds? It hurts, and it seems like nothing will take the pain away, but it always gets better, and things always end up better than you previously imagined. Life is a constant learning experience, with pain along the way. You just have to focus on the light ahead and keep on truckin'! :)

Is it really better to have love and lost than never to have loved at all? In retrospect I can say it is better to have love and lost, but at the time of losing it seems like nothing about the relationship was worth the pain you're experiencing. If God didn't take things away you would never learn to appreciate and cherish the things that you DO have in your life.

On why I won't be eating in August...

2006-07-31T10:32:00.001-07:00

Imagine my surprise when last month we were met with an electricity bill that listed $(-) 22.00 as the amount due! What a pleasant way to end a month. Apparently SCE returned our deposit of $80 because it had been 1 full year since we signed up with them, so after applying the $80 to our bill, we still had a little money left over. Thank you, SCE!

Fast forward one month, and I'm surprised once again by SCE! Well, surprise really isn't the appropriate word this time...more like shock, outrage, disbelief, etc. As you can imagine, this month I'm not going to be thanking SCE.

Let me set something up for you - I live in the suburbs of Los Angeles, I live a modest life, with few fancy ammenities. Given that we are currently experiencing a heat wave of enormous proportions in southern California - and weird weather in general all over the world, but that will be saved for another blog - my sister and I have decided that running our small little window air conditioner is a necessary part of our living comfortably. This is something to appease us, and by no means please us, because it's hardly enough to cool our dining room (where it's located), let alone the entire apartment.

Back to the topic at hand. We got our SCE bill this month, and would you like to know how much it is? Would you? It's $232!! That's the equivalent of a nice pair of jeans, a day at the spa, a flight to Wisconsin, a new set of tires...but will I be purchasing any of these things? NO! I will be paying a utility company who is jabbing my sides for everything I'm worth (or not worth, but further going into debt over...). It's sad story, with no happy ending.

That is all.

Playboy = undue stress!

2006-07-25T15:45:00.000-07:00

Welp, this past week I've been sufficiently stressed out because the good people at Playboy failed to send me an invitation to their upcoming Midsummer Night's Dream party. Could I let this go? Heck no, I emailed the suckers, and after 5 days of sweating it out I get an email that says "You are already on the list, your invite was sent to ____. See you on Aug. 5th!" Gee, thanks Playboy, glad to know you made me wait an extra TWO weeks after all my friends got invites to send mine. On the bright side, I'M GOING TO THE MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM PAR-TAY!!! This is the biggest party of the year in Playboy world, so needless to say I'm pretty damn excited.

While awaiting my invitation I've had time to ponder the possibility of not getting an invite. True, it wouldn't be the end of the world, but what an experience I would have missed out on. The people, the entertainment, the food, the alcohol, it's pretty much the most amazing party ever. Therefore, I'm elated at the fact that I am going, and I'm glad that I don't have to be sad that I'm not going. Obviously.

August 5th = party time!

Why I am a poor and struggling ex-college student

2006-07-17T13:23:00.000-07:00

This weekend was a shopper's dream - the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. It's only the biggest sale of the summer, and definitely has some good deals. I made my way into Nordstrom twice this weekend, and both times I did some damage. The problem was that the sale was so good that all the really good deals were gone before we got a chance to enjoy them. For instance, Rock and Republic straight leg jeans were on sale for $100 - seriously, this is unheard of. But those sold out the first morning (which was Friday, they opened the doors at 7:00 a.m.!).

Regardless of my tardiness, I still got some good deals...but these were met with some not so good deals, which I like to call "impulse buys." My life revolves around impulse buys, and my credit cards show it.

Anyway, I had a $500 gift card for Nordstrom, compliments of my ever-so-generous boss. So I ended up spending $630 in Nordtrom, which really was only $130 - which is not bad! But then we went to Victoria's Secret, and I did some damage there too - about $150, which didn't get me much at all, but I've been needing a new basic bra, so voila! Mission accomplished.

I would like to lodge a complaint against Victoria's Secret, however, because they started using GOLD clasps on their bras!! I HATE GOLD. It's a hideously ugly color to me, and why would you want a giant TACKY gold clasp on your pink bra? SERIOUSLY!? And it's not just one type of bra, apparently all of their bras have it now. I'm not amused.

Anyway, I spent about 7 hours at the mall this weekend, and I loved every moment of it...except for when I got really hungry in Victoria's Secret, and Hana was taking too long, because then I got cranky. But the rest of the time was fabulous!

But alas, that is why I am broke....happy, but broke :)

Myspace music and A.D.D.

2006-07-13T09:46:00.000-07:00

I'm guilty.

I browse myspace pages simply to hear the song someone has on their page. Sometimes I'll add their song to my page even. Call it myspace music piracy, if you will. But this is directed myspace music envy, the problem I have is more complicated.

In a world full of 30 second ads, bright colors, and quick talkers, it takes a lot to hold my attention. Additionally, sometimes I want certain things to hold my attention, while I could do without others. For instance, today I was on someone's myspace page and they had "Not Ready to Make Nice" by the Dixie Chicks as their profile song. I love this song! But shortly after clicking on her page I saw the profile of another person I wanted to check out, and BAM! What do I do?? I can leave this page, which has a great song, or I can stick around just to listen to the song, which will result in wasted time. Ugh.

My solution? I open another internet page and re-sign into myspace, retrace my steps, and get to the new person's page without closing the window of my other friend's page, which has the song I like. I'm a genius!

Or am I?

Soon I have 8 separate myspace pages open, and I can't remember why, then I realize it's because I've been playing virtual d.j. for the last 30 minutes trying to put together a play list to rock all other play lists, as the music continues to thud from my speakers. Oh myyyy.

In conclusion, myspace has given me A.D.D.

The little things in life...

2006-07-12T14:04:00.000-07:00

I requested a song on the radio today and the d.j. actually played it...he even emailed me after to say "Did you hear it? :)" He included the little smiley face and everything. It's the simple things in life that bring a smile to your face! Thank you, Shawn Parr, for making my country music requests come true! ;)

In case you were wondering I requested "Leave the Pieces" by The Wreckers...good song, I was never a fan of Michelle Branch, but this new thing she has going on is working!

On why I don't have cable...

2006-07-11T11:02:00.000-07:00

Many people question my decision to not get any cable at my apartment.

Put simply, I don't watch that much t.v., and the shows that I do like to watch are on channel 7, which I can pick up with an antenna. It's true, I'm pretty much the most ghetto, non-ghetto person you'll ever meet, but I'm okay with that.

I won't lie, I like watching certain shows while at other people's houses - like "The Real World/Road Rules Challenge" at my parent's house, or a great Sunday "Lifetime" movie at Hana's house. These serve for some great entertainment, but I can do without.

Also, in my constant battle to save money - which has been challenged sufficiently lately because of my partying habits - I can't rationalize paying money for cable when I know that I would #1 waste my time in front of the t.v. watching crap instead of doing something better with my time, and #2 probably only watch 2 or 3 channels that the cable has to offer. This results in cable being another superfluous waste of my money.

In a world full of tivo and recordable t.v., I am perfectly happy to watch my basic channels, so in case you were wondering, I'm not getting cable anytime soon.

I am a cynical biyatch, I know

2006-07-07T16:01:00.000-07:00

There was a book that came out a while back called "He's Just Not That Into You," it was a huge success, partly because of the Sex and the City episode that brought the book to life when Berger said to Miranda "he's just not that into you," and suddenly things made sense to her. The book teaches, among many things, that if a guy likes you there is nothing that's going to stop him - so if he says hes busy, he's just not that into you; if he says it's not the right time in his life, he's just not that into you; if he flirts with you but doesn't ask you out, he's just not that into you...he's your friend. The bottom line is that if he IS into you, you'll know it.

I don't know of a single girl who hasn't heard of this book, and for this reason I don't understand why some women continue to think that maybe he could still be into them? Maybe I'm too rational, or maybe I'm expecting the media hype to change women's perspectives too drastically, but my answer to these ladies is "No...he is not still into you." I bring this entire topic up because I just saw the previously mentioned Sex and the City episode last night thanks to KTLA reruns, and it served to reintroduce all of the concepts that I had previously absorbed, and yet let slip away because my life revolves around the wine industry and whatever I decide to do on the weekends. I mostly blame sappy romantic movies for the discrepancy between common sense and empty hope, because these movies teach us that "He is waiting for you," and "He's really the one, you just have to try."

What I would like is for women to realize they arent going to sway men into coming back into their loving arms by any outward actions. So, what I suggest is moving on. I'm not one to promote game playing when it comes to male/female interactions, so seriously consider this: you can't be played if you're not playing. Internalize that, use it, and work it. Step out of the "game," cut your losses. Don't buy into the stupid little things that always bring us back to the guys we know are wrong for us. If he meets the right person, he will change his ways. He just will. You are not going to change him.

This is all coming from a lady who has let the idea of marriage pass through her thoughts only briefly in the past, so by no means am I preaching to a crowd of women that I think should go out in search of their one true love or hold out like love-sick puppies who are awaiting their true love's first kiss. I don't think that all women fall into this pattern of constantly falling for men who aren't interested, and I dont think that this is an occurrence only common among women - men fall for women who aren't into them too, and the same rules apply (if she doesnt like you, you're not going to make her...unless you buy her things...and are good in bed...and buy her more things...haha). I, myself, promote dating as many people as possible, because only then will you be able to recognize a good thing when you find it. There is an internal standard that all women should have for men, a bar to reach, so to speak. When the right man comes along he'll meet or exceed that standard, so instead of lowering your bar to meet the wrong men, have fun with the men that are jumping to reach your bar for now.

As a final note, I would like to say that the only reason this topic means anything to me is that I still fall into the "maybe he's still into me trap" - I'm one of the women I dont understand.

Good talk.

Why I'm a Blogging Blogger

2006-07-07T12:44:00.000-07:00

Basically my thoughts are reckless and unabandoned, and that's why I generally can't write them out. It's kind of like a one armed man trying to control a wild stallion! Okay, maybe not that extreme. But anyway, this blog is to write stuff out...or at least try.

See, I'm a little amazed by this whole concept of "blogging" - it's like a diary for the whole world to see. Yet, if the whole world can see it is it really a diary? Isn't a diary supposed to be a secret thing that only you can read and share your thoughts with?

This brings me to my next question, what makes people so interested in sharing their thoughts with other people? I mean, unless, for instance, you're on some amazing trip and you want to document it for others to share with you, isn't it a little self-indulgent to simply share the experiences of your everyday life? It's true we all have some desire to enter the lives of others, even when we don't know these people as anything other than a screen name (hence, our facination with gossip columns and tabloid photos), but why? And what drives people to share these things in the first place? Myspace is a good example of unecessary sharing. How many "survey" bulletins do you get in a day? It's true, I'm guilty of filling them out myself. But do you really care what color shirt I'm wearing? And will you feel any more fulfilled in life if I tell you about a "near death experience" I once had? Chances are I'm not changing the world with my survey responses.

I feel like everything in life is done with a purpose, and I can't fathom the thought that the sharing of personal information in any respect (be it a myspace survey, online bulletin, blog, etc.) is done purely because "I'm bored right now" (which incidentally, is the title of many a myspace survey). People need to take responsibility for their thoughts and the sharing of these thoughts. Next time, instead of entitling your blog "Bored at work," title it "I am trying to get ____'s attention, so I'm creating this blog." Because essentially, you have a purpose for publishing your information, or you wouldn't waste your time on it. But I digress...

Ultimately, my theory for why people create blogs and post needless bulletins is because they have some innate desire to be understood. People think that by posting these things they will be understood in some light that they would otherwise not be seen in through people-to-people interaction. I'm cynical, it's true, but I'm also open-minded. I don't chastise anyone for employing these techniques to get their ideas out to the world. Imagine if the kids at Columbine had an open forum to share their thoughts? Chances are someone would have caught on and intervened before their treacherous plans were carried out.

Additionally, these forums serve as canvases on which artful people can express their creativity - whether it be creative writing, fiction or non-fiction, psychology anaylsis, critical introspection, or sociological theorizing. It's all interesting, and it all yearns to be shared. This is where I come in. I'm bored. I'm not in school and work leaves much to be desired as far as writing goes. My brain is turning to mush quickly, and I want to keep it sharp. So I'm going to write. You can read my thoughts if you so desire, sometimes they're pointless, and other times they need answers. Sometimes they're personal, other times they're theoretical. My brain is constantly going, and my aim is to put it to use. Enjoy!